Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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