I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
