well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
