Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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