you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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