I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
