The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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