I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
