5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
