Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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