hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
