Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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