Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
