went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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