Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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