Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize