the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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