I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and she was petting her beer can
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.