My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza