remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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