i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
