I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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