someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you never un-have a 4some
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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