Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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