So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She's JV to your varsity
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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