My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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