I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
