He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
These tits shall not be calmed