forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.