my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
