Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
