shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
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I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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