they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
