Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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