It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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