so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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