I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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