Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
