Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
