went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
