That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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