Do vagina's smell?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
