You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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