The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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