just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize