when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize