I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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