I think my fart just growled at me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
