i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
