You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
