"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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