yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
