It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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