Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
