so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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