So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
