Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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