covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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